Nach Ni Laali | The Anguish of Dark Pattern in UX Design

Abstract: As a Pattern Intelligence Specialist, my work revolves around understanding the complex ways in which systems, whether digital or social, trap individuals in patterns that appear alluring at first, but ultimately restrict their freedom. This cycle of entrapment is something I have deeply studied, especially in the context of dark patterns in user experience (UX) design. The Roach Motel dark pattern, where users are easily lured into a system but find it nearly impossible to exit, has always been one of my prime concerns.

However, the motivation behind writing this research and poem has not come from theory alone, but from an emotional experience I had one day when I saw a Hijra (Intersex Person) performing. There was something hauntingly beautiful about the performance, yet beneath that vibrant display, I could not shake the feeling of deep emotional pain. As I watched, I could not help but see the entrapment of this performer, who, like so many marginalised individuals, was only able to exist within the narrow confines of societal expectations. The glittering performance she put on was not an expression of freedom, but a reflection of the only role society had allowed her to take on; one that stripped her of autonomy and dignity.

The particular experience led to the ideation of Laali, the character in my poem. Laali, like the Hijra performer I observed, was both trapped by societal expectations and performing her role in a system that restricted her. Her dance, a symbol of joy and celebration, masked a deeper sadness; an emotional burden that I felt mirrored something I had been exploring in my professional life for years, the Roach Motel dark pattern.

As I reflected on the Roach Motel in the context of my practice, I saw how it was not just a digital issue but something that also happens on a cultural level. Both Laali’s societal entrapment and the digital entrapment users experience in the Roach Motel pattern share common traits. The illusion of freedom, the deceptive promises of agency, and the hidden manipulation behind seemingly harmless UX designs or social roles. Just as users in a Roach Motel can easily enter a system but find it nearly impossible to exit, Laali’s performance, the façade of celebration offers her no real way out from the confines of a life dictated by others.

This is where my emotional response to the performance of the Hijra and my concern for UX design converged. As a pattern intelligence specialist, I am deeply aware of the social structures that impose invisible yet powerful restrictions on marginalised individuals. Through the lens of UX dark pattern, I saw similar principles in the digital world. The experience triggered an emotional realisation, just as Laali’s performance is not liberating, neither are the systems that manipulate users into thinking they have control when, in reality, they do not.

This poem, therefore, became more than just an artistic and poetic expression, it became a way for me to bridge the gap between two domains of entrapment: the societal and the digital. Through Laali’s story, I wanted to convey the emotional cost of being trapped in a system that promises inclusion but delivers exhaustion and frustration. Whether in a Hijra’s dance performance or a user’s interaction with a dark-patterned system, the emotional toll is the same; a sense of powerlessness, a feeling of being controlled, and an exhausting cycle of trying to escape but never truly being free.

This is what motivated me to write the poem. It was not just a theoretical exercise, but an emotional response to the pain of seeing someone trapped in a system they had little control over, whether that system was societal or digital. It was a plea for recognition, for dignity, for the recognition that both individuals and users deserve to have control over their choices, free from manipulative patterns that only serve to entrap.

In the end, the Roach Motel dark pattern was not just a concept to me; it was a mirror of the cyclic entrapment I saw around me, both in digital spaces and in real life. The poem became my way of translating that frustration and empathy into something tangible, something that could speak to both the emotional weight and the systemic forces at play in our lives, whether in society or online.

Verse-by-Verse Analysis of the Poem: Connecting the Digital and Social Entrapment

The poem, through its vivid imagery and poignant emotional expression, encapsulates the emotional toll of societal and digital entrapment. Each verse of the poem ties into the themes of dignity, awareness, and empathy, while paralleling the Roach Motel dark pattern and the Hijra experience of Laali.

First Verse: External Celebration, Internal Conflict

This verse opens with Laali dancing, a performance meant to celebrate her role in society. However, her dance, though an outward display of joy and acceptance, hides her internal conflict. She is trapped within the stereotypes imposed upon her by society. The metaphor of the Roach Motel comes into play here, as Laali’s external celebration mirrors the enticing nature of digital services that draw users in. Yet, just as users are led into a system that becomes difficult to exit, Laali’s public role limits her autonomy, reflecting the emotional burden of entrapment.

Dignity and Awareness: Laali’s performance represents the lack of dignity experienced when marginalised groups are only validated when performing to societal expectations. This external validation does not offer the same internal freedom, paralleling how users feel manipulated when engaging with digital systems that promise ease but withhold autonomy.

Second Verse: The Illusion of Empowerment

In this verse, Laali references the physical ornamentation that signifies her place in society, external adornment that hides deeper, unspoken constraints. This mirrors how digital platforms, through attractive interfaces, create an illusion of empowerment for users. The Roach Motel pattern entices users with attractive offers but obscures the difficulty of leaving the system.

Empathy and Emotional Toll: The poem emphasises the emotional weight of carrying societal expectations, just as users face the emotional toll of navigating restrictive digital systems. Both Laali and users are trapped by the allure of a system that denies them the power of true choice and control. The use of the ‘red border’ as a metaphor for the restriction contrasts with the aesthetic allure, reflecting how manipulative systems offer a false sense of agency.

Third Verse: The Powerlessness of Being Trapped

Here, Laali’s internal struggle is brought to the forefront. The metaphor of her chest and heart being trapped within societal restrictions reflects how individuals experience an emotional burden, one that is not easily seen but deeply felt. The reference to ‘heavenly stars’ points to a sense of something unattainable, much like users who see digital systems as promising, yet never fully accessible or truly empowering.

Emotional and Psychological Costs: This verse captures the psychological cost of being trapped in a system that is outwardly appealing but internally stifling. Both Laali and users endure emotional exhaustion—Laali in the form of internalized pain and societal rejection, and users through frustration and helplessness. This reflects the emotional toll discussed in both digital entrapment (Luger et al., 2013) and marginalised cultural identities (Hossain, 2017).

Fourth Verse: The Question of Empowerment and Identity

This verse contrasts Laali’s experiences with those of a ‘conventionally acceptable’ man (“gabroo”), who embodies the societal norm. The contrasting images of validation and rejection reflect the duality of inclusion, Laali’s apparent inclusion is only surface-level, while the man’s ‘blessing’ represents societal privilege and power.

Dignity and Societal Entrapment: The man’s ‘acceptance’ contrasts sharply with Laali’s exclusion, reflecting how marginalised individuals are caught in systems that perform inclusivity but uphold exclusionary structures. This mirrors digital platforms that offer the illusion of inclusion and freedom but are built on structures that limit true autonomy. The idea that her birth (and identity) is seen as less valuable shows the dignity deficit that marginalised communities face.

Fifth Verse: The Dilemma of Social and Digital Manipulation

In this verse, Laali references the physical ornamentation In this verse, Laali reflects on the contradictions of social existence and how her identity, despite being tied to societal celebration, brings her no true happiness or freedom. This echoes the frustration users feel when trapped by dark patterns, where their digital experiences seem to promise satisfaction but result in dissatisfaction and manipulation.

Empathy and Awareness: Laali’s reflection mirrors the internal conflict users face when engaging with digital platforms that exploit their time and emotions. The realisation that one’s presence is required for the system’s gain, but not for personal fulfillment, highlights the absence of authentic empowerment.

Final Verses: A Call to Freedom and Liberation

The final verse calls for Laali to dance freely, suggesting a break from societal confines and the manipulation of public performance. This moment of potential liberation represents the ideal shift that needs to occur—whether in societal structures or digital systems. The reference to ‘this moment will not return’ emphasises the urgency of change, where both Laali’s societal entrapment and digital users’ experiences require a break from manipulation.

Reframing Digital and Cultural Systems: This verse calls for freedom and liberation from the constraints imposed by both social and digital systems. The plea for genuine agency mirrors the call for ethical UX design that prioritises user autonomy, transparency, and emotional well-being (Gray et al., 2018). It aligns with the broader theme of breaking stereotypes and creating systems of inclusion, rather than entrapment.

Each verse of the poem reflects a different aspect of entrapment, whether societal or digital, through the lens of Laali’s experience. The poem’s vivid imagery of external celebration masking internal pain, societal constraints, and the longing for freedom all connect deeply with the experiences of users trapped by dark patterns like the Roach Motel. Just as Laali’s dance offers a public semblance of happiness but hides a deeper emotional burden, users too may find themselves drawn into digital systems that offer enticing services but conceal emotional and psychological costs.

By analysing the poem in conjunction with these themes, we can understand the emotional toll and psychological costs of both digital and cultural systems of entrapment. The call for dignity, awareness, and empathy in the final verses reflects the overarching argument of this research: both digital and societal systems must evolve toward greater emotional equity, ensuring that they empower rather than exploit.

The Roach Motel as a Digital and Social Phenomenon

UX Entrapment: The Roach Motel Dark Pattern

Dark patterns are designed to prioritise business objectives over user welfare. The Roach Motel pattern, specifically, restricts users from leaving digital systems easily, whether through labyrinthine navigation structures, hidden cancellation buttons, or misleading opt-out processes (Mathur et al., 2019). Such practices create power imbalances where users feel trapped, disrespected, and manipulated (Luger et al., 2013). The emotional impact of this manipulation, frustration, betrayal, and exhaustion resonates with broader experiences of systemic disempowerment.

Societal Entrapment: The Case of Laali

Hijra communities in South Asia occupy a paradoxical space, celebrated in certain rituals yet ostracised in everyday social structures (Reddy, 2005). Laali’s dance symbolises an externally accepted role, yet she remains confined by societal expectations and lack of real autonomy. This mirrors how digital interfaces perform inclusivity while enacting hidden restrictions. Users, like Laali, find themselves lured into a system that promises agency but delivers entrapment.

While Laali’s performance brings social validation, it does not enable her escape from imposed identity constructs. Similarly, the Roach Motel pattern provides users with enticing services but limits their control over their digital choices. This duality raises crucial questions: Are users truly empowered in digital spaces, or are they subjected to invisible yet powerful design constraints? Are marginalised communities genuinely included in societal frameworks, or is their participation a structured illusion?

Emotional and Psychological Costs of Entrapment

Disempowerment and Emotional Toll

Research on dark patterns highlights their ability to induce cognitive load, frustration, and a diminished sense of control (Luger et al., 2013; Gray et al., 2018). Users subjected to Roach Motel tactics report feelings of exhaustion, similar to how marginalised individuals experience social constraints that limit their agency (Hossain, 2017). The emotional burden of constantly navigating restrictive systems, whether digital or cultural, is an underexplored aspect of both UX and social identity research.

Trust and Ethical Design Considerations

Both digital and societal entrapment erode trust. When users encounter deceptive design tactics, they develop skepticism toward platforms (Mathur et al., 2019). Similarly, when marginalised individuals recognise the limitations of performative inclusion, they become wary of societal structures that claim to offer empowerment. Ethical design, therefore, must extend beyond functionality to acknowledge and mitigate these emotional costs (Gray & Chivukula, 2019).

Dignity, Awareness, and Empathy: A Broader Ethical Lens

Incorporating the themes of dignity, awareness, and empathy into this analysis calls for an ethical reimagining of both digital and cultural systems. Laali’s struggle to assert her dignity within a restrictive societal framework parallels the challenge of digital users fighting for dignity and autonomy in the face of manipulative designs. As digital systems become increasingly pervasive, the erosion of user dignity is a growing concern, as is the lack of empathy in design practices. Ethical design demands more than just functional efficiency; it requires an awareness of the emotional labor and cognitive load users endure when trapped by dark patterns (Binns, 2018).

Dignity in the context of digital design is about providing users with the freedom to make informed choices, and involves ensuring that the decisions they make are respected. Users are not mere subjects to be manipulated for commercial gain, they are individuals whose emotions, autonomy, and dignity deserve protection. Similarly, Laali’s dignity is often compromised by the external forces of society, where her worth is defined by narrow, stereotypical views of gender and identity (Butler, 2004). Her ability to assert her own identity is constrained by these societal norms, which mirror the ways in which users’ digital identities and choices are often circumscribed by manipulative interface designs.

Awareness plays a key role in both Laali’s experience and the digital user experience. Just as Laali’s awareness of societal expectations shapes her actions, so too does a user’s awareness (or lack thereof) of dark patterns shape their digital interactions. Empowering users with knowledge about these design tactics is crucial for fostering an environment where they can act autonomously and with full understanding. Similarly, raising awareness within the design community about the ethical implications of dark patterns is essential for mitigating their harmful effects (Svensson & Sohlberg, 2019).

Finally, empathy is a core principle that should guide both cultural and digital systems. Understanding the emotional toll that users and marginalised individuals like Laali experience in constrained environments leads to an inclusive, respectful, and ethical approach to design. Empathetic design practices, which prioritise user well-being, can prevent manipulation and instead create spaces that respect individual autonomy and foster positive emotional engagement (Norman, 2013).

Rethinking UX: Toward Emotional Equity in Design

This research calls for a shift in UX design, emphasisingtransparency, user autonomy, and emotional well-being. Just as Laali’s story highlights the need for authentic societal inclusion rather than performative visibility, ethical UX needs to prioritise genuine user control over manipulative retention strategies. Integrating emotional equity into design frameworks can ensure systems empower rather than entrap, creating digital spaces rooted in trust, respect, and empathy (Gray et al., 2018).

Final Thoughts: Empowerment through Ethical Design

Through the lens of Laali’s duality, this research advocates for breaking both cultural and digital stereotypes to create systems that empower rather than entrap. This piece of analysis demonstrates that the Roach Motel dark pattern, much like the societal restrictions placed on Laali, operates on the premise of entrapment and disempowerment. By integrating emotional equity into design, prioritising transparency, user autonomy, and inclusivity, we can reshape digital landscapes to foster environments where users, like Laali, are free to express their identities and navigate their experiences without the invisible emotional burdens of manipulation and exploitation.

Conclusively, this work emphasises the urgent need for design ethics to transcend mere functionality and to address the deeper human values of trust, respect, and empathy in an increasingly digital world. The future of user experience design lies in systems that are efficient and equitable allowing users to thrive in their digital lives without being emotionally harmed or disrespected. It is crucial that designers, developers, and organizations embrace an ethical framework that centres on human well-being. 

This includes prioritising transparency, minimising manipulation, and fostering meaningful user empowerment. By embedding ethical considerations into the design process, we can create experiences that serve users’ immediate needs and contribute positively to their long-term digital journeys, ensuring technology serves as an enabler of human potential rather than a source of harm.

Contributor’s Bio

Kazim Ali

University of Central Punjab

Kazim Ali is a Pattern Intelligence Specialist with a core specialisation in Experimental Cellular Automata (CA). He investigates Behavioural Patterns using CA in UX Design, AI, and 3D immersion. He has over 18 years of experience in the interdisciplinary application of ethical and inclusive practices across education, UX Design, Art, and technology.

References

Binns, A. (2018). Dark patterns: Deceptive user interfaces and the ethics of design. Interaction Design Foundation.

https://www.interaction-design.org/literature/article/dark-patterns-deceptive-user-interfaces-and-the-ethics-of-design

Butler, J. (2004). Undoing gender. Routledge.

Gray, C. (2018). The ethics of UX design: A critical approach. Journal of Design History, 31(2), 122–135. https://doi.org/10.1093/jdh/epy013

Gray, C., & Chivukula, K. (2019). Ethical UX: Beyond dark patterns and towards emotional equity. Journal of User Experience Design, 22(4), 39–51.

Hossain, S. (2017). Social exclusion and marginalization: The Hijra experience. South Asian Review, 41(1), 53–67. https://doi.org/10.1080/02759527.2017.1284307

Luger, E. A., Huh, J., & Paterno, E. (2013). Dark patterns in user interfaces: Psychological and cognitive impacts. ACM CHI Conference on Human 

Factors in Computing Systems, 1739–1748. https://doi.org/10.1145/2470654.2466225

Mathur, A., Aza, A., Luger, E. A., & Iqbal, M. (2019). 

Dark patterns at scale: Findings from a crawl of 11,000 shopping websites. Proceedings of the ACM on Human-Computer Interaction, 3(2), 1–32. https://doi.org/10.1145/3287328.3287342

Norman, D. (2013). The design of everyday things. Basic Books.

Reddy, G. (2005). With respect to sex: Negotiating Hijra identity in South India. Intersections: Gender and Sexuality in Asia and the Pacific, 11(1), 1–24. https://doi.org/10.16953/deusbed.59622

Svensson, A., & Sohlberg, S. (2019). Empathy in design: Integrating human values into user experience. Design Issues, 35(2), 45–59. https://doi.org/10.1162/desi_a_00604

misleading opt-out processes (Mathur et al., 2019). 

Such practices create power imbalances where users feel trapped, disrespected, and manipulated (Luger et al., 2013). The emotional impact of this manipulation, frustration, betrayal, and exhaustion resonates with broader experiences of systemic disempowerment.